So true!
So today was "spa day" at the rec center on base...don't get excited now, it is two double-wides pushed together with a wall knocked out. There's a fooseball table and a bar that serves "near beer" (non-alcoholic O'Douls) woo hoo.
But the dryness of this desert has done murder to my cuticles, so before lunch I walked over to see what "spa day" was all about.
Crammed into a side room was a table with smelly locals advertising various "spa" services. I looked at the list and marveled at the fact that they wanted to charge $30 to put your feet in a five-gallon bucket and wash them with a sponge that looked like it had just been used to clean the floor. Geee-rosss!
So I smiled and put on my cover and walked back out into the blistering sun...muttering under my breath and vowing to NEVER get any "spa" services done until I get back home...now that I think about it, they also offered waxing services...I hate to think what that involved... :P
I decided to go to chow, since I was fairly close by. I walked in, let the doorman check my ID and went to wash my hands. When you walk in the chow hall there is a forked entrance with 3 hand wash stations on each side. I haven't ever felt the urge to use the restroom when I've been there, but I had chugged 3 bottles of water and really had to go. So I walked in to the restroom...
Immediately I realized I had made a mistake when I saw the urinals along the wall...for a fleeting instant I tried to convince myself that the bathrooms were unisex and this must be normal, but I knew I was just kidding myself...
Already committed at this point (there were several people walking into the hall at a given moment) I decided to just go with it because no one was in there. Without breaking stride I went right into a stall and shut the door. I took a "combat pee" (which really just means you go as fast as you can without fully sitting) and prayed that no one would walk in....
God must have been busy, because before I could buckle my belt I heard the door open and footsteps come in. Still praying that this was all just a big mistake and I must have imagined the urinals, I held my breath and waited until the footsteps stopped and I heard the door open, thinking whoever it was must have left. I took a deep breath and pushed the door open, only to be staring at the backs of 2 gentlemen relieving themselves into the urinals (that were definitely not imaginary).
Once again, without breaking stride, I was out of that bathroom in 2 giant steps, stepped over to the sink, washed my hands again, refusing to look up to stare into the faces of the curious airmen that must have been wondering what the heck I was doing in the mens bathroom....
...First of all, I would like to point out that the universal symbols for men's and ladie's restrooms (the stick-man and stick-woman-with-a-dress) are completely misplaced in this environment! Think about it, we all look the same! We all were ABU's and boots (which I realized when I attempted to determine the gender of the people in the bathroom by staring out from underneath the door) so technically, from a pictoral standpoint, we all fall into the category of the stick-man. THERE ARE NO WOMEN HERE THAT WEAR DRESSES! So...I have decided to petition the Services department to have the words "MEN" and "WOMEN" stenciled on the door...so that some other lost LT doesn't suffer the same fate as me.
Red-faced LT over and out...
Monday, March 7, 2011
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Lucy...I'm home!
hehe...funny story...I worked from 6am to 2am yesterday...no breaks. Then I had to get back up and go back to work at 6am again...so by the time I decided to drag my tired but back to my dorm today at 5pm...I guess I was staggering down the sidewalk. One of the troops that works in my squadron pulled me over and asked if I was okay since i was swerving all over the sidewalk. After I convinced him that I was almost to my dorm, I turned and walked up the stairs, down the hall, and attempted to enter the room. This is where I realized that I was in the wrong building, and I was trying to forcibly enter the room of an OSI (office of special investigations) agent....whoops!
Somehow I found the energy to run out of there before he woke up and tried to take me into custody.
SO, I decided to take a nap before i got myself into trouble. I woke up and went for a run outside, since my opportunities for PT are pretty limited by work. I had gone about a mile before I was REALLY thirsty! My eyes were sticking and my lungs were hurting. That's when I realized a dust storm had kicked up (the worst one I've seen since I've been here). So then I turned around and decided to finish my run in the gym.
Mathmatically my appearance was something like sweat + wind + dirt + dust + sand = muddy mess. I hacked up a mud pie and went through have a box of tissues and kleenex getting all the dust out of my nose and ears.
The good news is, it is still relatively cool in the evenings so it isn't completely miserable yet.
Dusty Turkey 2....out
Somehow I found the energy to run out of there before he woke up and tried to take me into custody.
SO, I decided to take a nap before i got myself into trouble. I woke up and went for a run outside, since my opportunities for PT are pretty limited by work. I had gone about a mile before I was REALLY thirsty! My eyes were sticking and my lungs were hurting. That's when I realized a dust storm had kicked up (the worst one I've seen since I've been here). So then I turned around and decided to finish my run in the gym.
Mathmatically my appearance was something like sweat + wind + dirt + dust + sand = muddy mess. I hacked up a mud pie and went through have a box of tissues and kleenex getting all the dust out of my nose and ears.
The good news is, it is still relatively cool in the evenings so it isn't completely miserable yet.
Dusty Turkey 2....out
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
These boots ain't made for walking...
....6 lousy pounds...that's how much these darn boots weigh...My feet look like raw hamburger right now...yuck! I understand that this is a "walking base" meaning that it is only about 1.5 miles from one end to the other, so vehicles aren't a necessity...but I literally live on one side and work on the other. GRRR!
Anyway, I made it through my first two sandstorms without getting lost...yay! They actually issue us dust guards (wild wild west style) and 3-inch switch blades and bunch of other sweet gear, but sleep is the only thing I really want. I have consistently been working 17 hour days and the hours are so inconsistent. It is hard to stay awake, but it is even harder to sleep, when I finally get the chance. I have decided that my celly is more like a bull-moose than an elephant, because that is how she snores. I have to sleep with headphones in and listen to opera music to drown her out. I get ready every morning in the dark so I don't wake her up (because she is a field-grade officer), which usually earns me some funny looks once I get to work and realize my hair is going sideways and I still have toothpaste on my face. Awesome.
Thankfully, the desert sucks so bad that no wildlife wants to live here, except for the desert foxes that have rabies and stalk you from the dumpsters back to your hut...but nothing loud enough to wake me up, other than the bull moose that sleeps 2 feet away.
Now for the serious stuff...We received an intel brief today that is very important. To everyone that reads this, please let people know that they cannot tell anyone where I am. Do not put the base or country on any public forum. If it's on FB, take it off. I am officially in an "undisclosed location in Southwest Asia" or if you prefer, "I'm on vacation." You can tell people that I am deployed, but that is it.
Also, I am in desperate need of starbucks single instant coffee packets. If people want to send me other stuff like M&Ms, gum, magazines (PG) or rice krispie treats, that would also be fantastic. I like kashi granola bars too, since the only ones they have here are a million calories. Anything that would make me smell good is also welcome. I have a lot of troops and you just aren't as credible when you stink. Trust me.
I have to go to work again, so everyone please pray for me. I can't send any pictures of where I am at, but if you watch the first star wars episode where Luke is in that awful desert, it looks exactly like that.
Love you all. Here is my address, and it must be printed EXACTLY like this, nothing else will reach me:
Carissa McDaniel
386 ELRS/LGRD
APO AE 09855
Thank you all in advance
Turkey 2...out
Anyway, I made it through my first two sandstorms without getting lost...yay! They actually issue us dust guards (wild wild west style) and 3-inch switch blades and bunch of other sweet gear, but sleep is the only thing I really want. I have consistently been working 17 hour days and the hours are so inconsistent. It is hard to stay awake, but it is even harder to sleep, when I finally get the chance. I have decided that my celly is more like a bull-moose than an elephant, because that is how she snores. I have to sleep with headphones in and listen to opera music to drown her out. I get ready every morning in the dark so I don't wake her up (because she is a field-grade officer), which usually earns me some funny looks once I get to work and realize my hair is going sideways and I still have toothpaste on my face. Awesome.
Thankfully, the desert sucks so bad that no wildlife wants to live here, except for the desert foxes that have rabies and stalk you from the dumpsters back to your hut...but nothing loud enough to wake me up, other than the bull moose that sleeps 2 feet away.
Now for the serious stuff...We received an intel brief today that is very important. To everyone that reads this, please let people know that they cannot tell anyone where I am. Do not put the base or country on any public forum. If it's on FB, take it off. I am officially in an "undisclosed location in Southwest Asia" or if you prefer, "I'm on vacation." You can tell people that I am deployed, but that is it.
Also, I am in desperate need of starbucks single instant coffee packets. If people want to send me other stuff like M&Ms, gum, magazines (PG) or rice krispie treats, that would also be fantastic. I like kashi granola bars too, since the only ones they have here are a million calories. Anything that would make me smell good is also welcome. I have a lot of troops and you just aren't as credible when you stink. Trust me.
I have to go to work again, so everyone please pray for me. I can't send any pictures of where I am at, but if you watch the first star wars episode where Luke is in that awful desert, it looks exactly like that.
Love you all. Here is my address, and it must be printed EXACTLY like this, nothing else will reach me:
Carissa McDaniel
386 ELRS/LGRD
APO AE 09855
Thank you all in advance
Turkey 2...out
Saturday, February 19, 2011
...more like give-me-a-minute!
All,
I finally got to Kuwait yesterday after the longest flights ever! Plane broke, got off the plane, plane fixed, got on the plane, plane broke again, got back off the plane....
Finally got into country and oh boy...is it brown...and dusty. I've never seen anything so flat and hot. It was supposed to be 65 degrees when we landed...but it felt like 85 with the sun beating down on us for 2 hours while we waited for our armed escort to take us to the base.
That was an interesting trip that I can't discuss in this forum, but ask me about it later.
When I got here they hustled us through briefing after briefing, paperwork, and processing...at that point I was working on 36 hours without sleep. Then my new boss said...okay get to work. We have a meeting in one hour.
More briefings, more paperwork, more drooping eyeballs. I now literally know what it feels like to have sand behind your eyelids...
Finally, they let me go to chow. It is the biggest, loudest chowhall I have ever seen. They could have music concerts there because the acoustics are so bad you can't hear what the person across the table from you is even saying.
...the food is better than Honduras, but the chicken tastes like lighter fluid...not sure what that's about.
Anyway...I will give you all a detailed description of my celly...that would be my roommate...because we live in a room that is 8ft x 10ft and it has two beds and two stand up closets inside it. We can't both be in here or we wouldn't be able to walk. Her feet are next to my head when we sleep. Lame...at least it's not her face though, because she snores and thinks she is an elephant...the way she stomps around the room at 0430.
We have two other cellies that we share the bathroom, which is the smallest thing ever, you literally have to straddle the shower spigot because the shower head is directly over it and there isn't enough room to lean. I tried turning around once I got in and just knocked everything out of the 4 shelves that are full of shampoo, etc. making them all fall on my feet and hitting my head on the door as I leaned down to pick them up...
...good times...
GTG now, out of battery...
...more to come from the sandbox...
...Turkey 2 out...
I finally got to Kuwait yesterday after the longest flights ever! Plane broke, got off the plane, plane fixed, got on the plane, plane broke again, got back off the plane....
Finally got into country and oh boy...is it brown...and dusty. I've never seen anything so flat and hot. It was supposed to be 65 degrees when we landed...but it felt like 85 with the sun beating down on us for 2 hours while we waited for our armed escort to take us to the base.
That was an interesting trip that I can't discuss in this forum, but ask me about it later.
When I got here they hustled us through briefing after briefing, paperwork, and processing...at that point I was working on 36 hours without sleep. Then my new boss said...okay get to work. We have a meeting in one hour.
More briefings, more paperwork, more drooping eyeballs. I now literally know what it feels like to have sand behind your eyelids...
Finally, they let me go to chow. It is the biggest, loudest chowhall I have ever seen. They could have music concerts there because the acoustics are so bad you can't hear what the person across the table from you is even saying.
...the food is better than Honduras, but the chicken tastes like lighter fluid...not sure what that's about.
Anyway...I will give you all a detailed description of my celly...that would be my roommate...because we live in a room that is 8ft x 10ft and it has two beds and two stand up closets inside it. We can't both be in here or we wouldn't be able to walk. Her feet are next to my head when we sleep. Lame...at least it's not her face though, because she snores and thinks she is an elephant...the way she stomps around the room at 0430.
We have two other cellies that we share the bathroom, which is the smallest thing ever, you literally have to straddle the shower spigot because the shower head is directly over it and there isn't enough room to lean. I tried turning around once I got in and just knocked everything out of the 4 shelves that are full of shampoo, etc. making them all fall on my feet and hitting my head on the door as I leaned down to pick them up...
...good times...
GTG now, out of battery...
...more to come from the sandbox...
...Turkey 2 out...
Monday, February 14, 2011
blah blah billeting
So so tired...
Moving out all day...
an hour of traffic to get to base then...
blah blah billeting! It was only 7pm and I was ready for a glass of wine and bed.
Then...after an AMAZING phone conversation with my dear friend Lia, I find that we gabbed for 2.5 hours and it is a decent hour for bed. Although it is not MY bed...it will definitely do and I hope and pray that the housekeepers do not get me up in the morning.
1.5 days until departure. Hopefully the stories will be entertaining enough to keep everyone interested.
Turkey 2...over and out...
Moving out all day...
an hour of traffic to get to base then...
blah blah billeting! It was only 7pm and I was ready for a glass of wine and bed.
Then...after an AMAZING phone conversation with my dear friend Lia, I find that we gabbed for 2.5 hours and it is a decent hour for bed. Although it is not MY bed...it will definitely do and I hope and pray that the housekeepers do not get me up in the morning.
1.5 days until departure. Hopefully the stories will be entertaining enough to keep everyone interested.
Turkey 2...over and out...
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